I Just Want To Be Heard!

So many channels, so few followers...

I Just Want To Be Heard!

How many times have I heard or seen this phrase over the years? Libraries and bookstores around the world have been packed for centuries with the works of people who want to be heard. Prior to that, memorized oral traditions served this purpose.

Our modern world, primarily due to the rise of the internet, has produced an explosion of channels available for those who want to be heard. I mean, how many social media channels, mass media outlets and websites are there? Too many to count, and they are all fed by the money of those who want to be heard.

I know the feeling of wanting to be heard personally, as do most people. It’s almost a feeling of heartache and longing. And it’s so sweet when it happens. It got me to thinking about the roots of this and why it’s so important to me.

I’m reminded of that great song by Tears for Fears, “Everybody Wants To Rule The World”. It’s so true. I have this compulsion to rule the world, but most importantly, “My World”. As though it’s really MY world! How can I say that and still look at myself in the mirror? It’s such an embarrassingly narrow and ego driven view. To think that my take on how things should be, how people behave, should be heard by everyone. Not just heard but obeyed!

And here I am, doing just that! LMAO!

So, what is it, down deep in me, that drives this? I know where this comes from. I learned it in Buddhism 101. It’s the mistaken view that things, objects and phenomena, and most personally my “self”, has a permanent, inherent, intrinsic existence. This erroneous view logically leads to the notion that this permanent inherent existence is something that must be supported and defended. And wow, do I do that! (note to self: this is the cause of suffering)

But then I think back to Buddhism 101again, that nothing is permanent, not even for a fraction of a second. Objects and phenomena, my own thoughts and feelings, are constantly changing. Where is there room to think there’s a permanent Bruce? A Bruce that, because it’s permanent, has never, and will never, change. That can’t be right. It’s not tenable.

So why do I cling to this idea of some inherently existent Bruce in the face of these obvious facts? Especially considering that most of the suffering I feel is from the constant striving to support and defend this idea.

The truth is that my ultimate existence, my true mode of existence, is impermanent, and just the result of causes and conditions over a continuum of time.  Why can’t I just relax into that?